you're in my mind..

you're in my heart, I wish I knew right from the start...*



I need you out of my head.

It's a truly wonderful day when you're best friend says all the things you wished she knew.
It's like this amazing feeling when everything left unsaid is recognized. I guess that's
what a best friend is all about though, someone who knows you better then you know yourself
and sees the things you think you're hiding so well from the world.
I am truly blessed for the people that are in my life, and even for knowing the people that aren't.
Every person changes you, and when it's for the better they last through thick and thin. It
doesn't matter much if they don't make it to your future. They've still shaped you and molded you into
who you are. Times change.

I've learned the hard way that rolling over and playing dead doesn't really get you anywhere,
it just prolongs your moment of standstil. I've tested time by not moving forward or backwards.
I straddled the line of safety and it's done me well, but I can see the it shifting towards the future.
I've found a program I am already passionate about, I've kicked my own butt into gear.

It's taken four long years, and while I still haven't particularly found what I'm looking for, I've found what I'm not.
Life didn't fall into my lap. I used trial and error to get me closer to the the future. I've watched and felt myself change so much
since the first day I got onto the wrong bus for school. I've made countless mistakes, I've learned countless lessons and know there will be so many more. My attention span has shifted from one group of people, to multiple individuals. I feel like I've made so many lifelong friends, and I can't say how honoured I feel for all the lunches, nights out and nights in.
I've got my ladies and I've got my guys. I've lost some ladies and I've lost some guys but I'm okay.
I'm happy and fully content with who I'm with, where I am, and the life I'm living.

I know I fall short in many areas. I know I'm stubborn, I know I struggle with expressing my negative thoughts, and I know
I haven't shed multiple tears in a long time. It might be my downfall holding it all in, but I let it out in the form of laughter. It's surprising that in times like these I'm able to laugh life off. But I'm okay.
Everyday something crosses my mind to remind me of what I've lost in life, but I feel like it keeps me grounded and attributes to the thankfulness I feel for those I haven't lost.

I pray that each and everyone of you search for self fulfillment, that when life gives you lemons you show it who's boss and create a concoction like no other. Throw it all into the mix. Don't settle for lemonade. I pray that you learn to laugh it off, and don't shed a tear for what you've lost. It's all okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
I pray that nothing deters you from setting goals and achieving them. Personal best always means more then just surpassing the expectations of others. I pray you learn to forgive, and keep an open mind. I pray you walk a mile in someone else shoes and realize how worn they may be, how exhausted some of us are from the weight of the world, and I pray you help lift someone else's weight the way mine have been lifted. I pray you all have someone you can talk to, to truly open up to and it's a good enough influence to know when you need advice and when you just need an ear to listen.

I've learned that life is rough, and no one gets out alive so why bother focussing on the bad. Relish in the good. Try to be your best. When you can't please others make sure you are at least pleasing yourself, because when you can't even do that you start to spiral into a dangerous zone. I've learned that everything truly does get Better in time. I don't want to lose time anymore. I don't want to think of you everyday. I just hope it's worth the fight, and you gained everything you wanted and needed, and that you're happier. Everything has changed, but through it all, I've been blessed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNKI9ZCbbJw