Guess who is 21? I am, I am!
Not particularly thrilled about getting older and feeling like I've yet to accomplish so much more, but I guess it's somewhat of a drive to figure things out and get going on that.
Soo birthday details, which seems to be what people want most.
It was definitely.. not what I expected.
Saturday Matt (who biked from Bris to come see me/stay with me, thanks buddy!!) and I hopped on a train to Birmingham. Ended up staying in a hostel for the night, which was interesting in its own way. Not completely my cuppa but met some nice fellas. There were 3 other men staying there.. a man from spain who I can't pronounce his name, forget trying to spell it (although matt said to remember it by 'saliva', so.. yeeeah), Richard who is a hollistic healer from Austria, but lived in the states for 20 years (new joisey), and Pa who was at a gypsy jazz workshop and is from Dublin. Quite the mix I do say. Oh and yes, I was the ONLY female, and one of the few that don't snore. So saturday night Matt and I took Richard to the only pub in a mile radius, which promised live music but lied, and had a few drinks and some dinner, and some conversation. Headed back to the pub and picked up some cheap wine on the way, and drank in our room for a bit once he realized it was my birthday in like 20 minutes.
We sat around talking and eventually everyone settled in for the night. Minus the man from spain and I. I was on the top bunk, and due to snoring didn't actually get to sleep until about 3:00am, and the dude from spain kept talking to himself. He may have been sleeping, jury's still out.
Matt and I woke up at 7am, and walked to the train station to go to selly oak to see Rachel, and found out the next one wasn't until 9:15 and we had to be there for 8, so we took a taxi to her place. Rachel was in essay hell, so had to pass on the day trip to Brighton.
Instead, we went with Chris, her housemate, Grace, chris' friend, Matt and I. Drove 4 hours to Brighton, got there and it was gorgeous, luckily. Great day to be at the sea. We met up with Chris' friend Alitzia (sp?) and walked down to the "beach" which is really pebbles.. and grabbed some chips and sat by the beach. Then we walked to the Pier and Chris and I went on some rides that resemble those at the Ex, went into a karaoke bar on the Pier and I got Happy Birthday sang to me, bought my own rum and coke and then we kept on going, we walked around to see a bunch of shops, and then went back to the car and drove back to Birmingham.
Again, a 4 hour drive. We spent loads more time in the car then actually there.. it was fun but again definitely unexpected.
When we got back to Rachels place, we went out and grabbed some chicken and then back to her place, ate the chicken and then Rach had to get back to her essays, so Matt and I watched a bit of tv and then went to bed. And that sums up my birthday.
It would be a pretty rad day had it been every other day, but I've been told this is a huge part of being an adult. Not expecting much for your birthday.
Matt stayed until today friday, so for a week, which was very helpful seeing as on wednesday I could barely move without wincing. LOVE being sick, throwing up, feverish, shakes and chills. Always funtimes.. especially when you have the day off but have to babysit that evening. So Matt really stepped up and helped me out and let me sleep while he put the kiddies to bed and entertained.. so again, thanks matt!!
So today, I did my cleaning bit, and then I have to watch Bella while Harry is at swimming and then babysitting, and then babysitting tomorrow again..
so to sum it up, so far 21 has been uneventful. It's been less then a week and I've been stressed, frustrated and sick.
Laughed lots with Matt, we went to the pub last night and found out it was games night. Our team got 4th place (out of a billion!!) and we contributed a lot to our team. ahah sorry I can't even type that with a straight face..
Right now I am definitely struggling with wanting more then what I have. I have a roof over my head, food, drinks, an income (small but still steady for now), and a job. Oh, and the whole being overseas. I can't get over this feeling that I'm not pulling on the strings of potential. I'm just floating, and at times I feel I can totally do this for ages and just continue on, but then I realize that at some point I'm going to need a piece of paper proving my worth, aka further education. Do I want to be someone to sleeps in trees to save them and eventually get bulldozed out? Would my sister come and defend me, and sort out a lawsuit because all my limbs are broken? Would I change my name to Willow? (Recent Greys episode)
With the way I live my life a lot of people who I should statistically be close to, I'm not. I'm a stranger to them.
I'm trying to plan my life in such a way to prioritize my relationships. It just doesn't seem to work out when you factor in my life choices along with others.
To my darling sisters, I'm sorry I'm not around.
I'm definitely starting to struggle under the weight of all kinds of guilt. Some probably isn't meant to be on my shoulders, but I am taking it anyway.
I thought coming here would be a perfect way to break away, to not be a part of the social norm, now additionally, I am learning all these things I've tucked away and saved for a rainy day. There's just way too many rainy days here.
So here's my large factoring in my decision making, do I go back to a place where it's safe and I can be closer to family and friends, or do I hang a map on a dart board and see what happens.. (knowing me I would miss the board completely), then again it could go right back to Canada.. who knows really..
There's a bit of insight where I am at currently. Hope my mind mapping on my blog wasn't too confusing ahah
Blessings xx
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